1. The more shops I can go into, the happier I'll be.
2. It is possible to have your soul sucked out by lighting (like in Joe Versus The Volcano)
3. I have super powers: I have the patience of an old oak, and am invisible to other pedestrians. See how they walk straight into me and carry on as if nothing has happened! See how I go on my way, having not committed murder! I am The Invisible Patience! My mission: to get out alive.
4. The Guildhall Market is Sarah Conner, Westfield is The Terminator.
These are the things I learned today, on my way to catch a bus. Thankyou Westfield.
A conversation that could happen in approx. 2028:
Interior. A bar in London. Biff is propping up the bar.
Bartender: What'll it be?
Biff: Your finest Columbo.
Bartender: What's a Columbo man?
Biff: A Columbo, man, is a Jameson's and soda, no ice, just a bit of soda.
Bartender: And why-
Biff: Because that's what the great TV detective drank.
Bartender: Columbo had Jameson's?
Biff: I don't know, whatever, that doesn't matter...
Bartender: There you go.
Biff: Cheers man. I'm sorry I got annoyed, I've lost my superpowers since being down here.
Bartender: Right. Where're you from?
Biff: Derby.
Bartender: Derby? Where's that?
Biff: It's up near Nottingham and Leicester...
Bartender: Ah, I gotcha, you mean that council estate on the outskirts of Westfield?
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1 comment:
you do indeed have superpowers! i have witnessed them in full effect. they are quite crap superpowers, though. ( i am sympathizing rather than mocking here.)
i liked the bit about the terminator. it makes me want to buy something from the guildhall market each and every day. the terminator does have some good stationery shops, though. but i'll try and limit myself to two handmade-paper-inlaid-with-leaf-dust purchases a month. xx
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