Thursday 15 May 2008
It Is Not Yet Ten O'Clock...
...and I've already written one story and started another. The one I've finished is called The Russian (A Nightmare) and it's horrible. I won't post it here because it's horrible. The second one is nicer, though not yet finished. I think it's going to be called 'Fe'.
I now have a cup of tea and a fresh pack of Digestives to bring the morning in with true style. I've just cleaned out the fridge as well.
Actually, being in the shop looking at the biscuits reminded me of an incident. There was one particular biscuit in fact. That biscuit was a 'bourbon.' I have been meaning to get this off my chest for quite some time.
Paul came to our house to do a write up on Time Travel Opportunists for a new zine that's coming out in Derby. He e-mailed ahead, like a true millennium gent, with the promise of a nice packet of bourbons as a gift.
I heard the knock and opened the door. I was the first to look upon the travesty that was Paul Hammond holding Londis own-brand Bourbons. The latter part was where the travesty began, but it leaked all over Paul. I had a mixture of feelings. Pity, hurt, distress, disappointment.
He knows about it now. We were honest. You could see it on people's faces after the first bite. The disappointment, the hurt, the despair. Emma didn't have one because Londis own-brand poor-bons aren't vegan. I didn't have one because I've had them before. I knew what was coming. A dry and tasteless, custard cream shaped Bour-wrong.
Paul, if you're reading this, I like you. I honestly do.
I like doing number puzzles with you. I like the way you talk, and what you talk about.
I think you are funny as well.
If I was a lady, I might go so far as to say I might 'date' you.
But next time, and I think by now you know this, next time you're in Londis, walk past the own-brand bourbons, walk past the 'Best-In' bottom shelf four for a pound brown-custard-cream (that even has the adornments of that acceptable blond square of cream filled biscuit) 'long' pack. Walk past them, and walk to the door. Walk out of Londis and walk past our house. Walk past our house all the way to the Spar shop, where they have Bourbon sense. Buy their bourbons.
Vote with your feet Paul.
Vote Crawford's. Vote anything.
Then come back and I will make us all something to dunk them in.
I now have a cup of tea and a fresh pack of Digestives to bring the morning in with true style. I've just cleaned out the fridge as well.
Actually, being in the shop looking at the biscuits reminded me of an incident. There was one particular biscuit in fact. That biscuit was a 'bourbon.' I have been meaning to get this off my chest for quite some time.
Paul came to our house to do a write up on Time Travel Opportunists for a new zine that's coming out in Derby. He e-mailed ahead, like a true millennium gent, with the promise of a nice packet of bourbons as a gift.
I heard the knock and opened the door. I was the first to look upon the travesty that was Paul Hammond holding Londis own-brand Bourbons. The latter part was where the travesty began, but it leaked all over Paul. I had a mixture of feelings. Pity, hurt, distress, disappointment.
He knows about it now. We were honest. You could see it on people's faces after the first bite. The disappointment, the hurt, the despair. Emma didn't have one because Londis own-brand poor-bons aren't vegan. I didn't have one because I've had them before. I knew what was coming. A dry and tasteless, custard cream shaped Bour-wrong.
Paul, if you're reading this, I like you. I honestly do.
I like doing number puzzles with you. I like the way you talk, and what you talk about.
I think you are funny as well.
If I was a lady, I might go so far as to say I might 'date' you.
But next time, and I think by now you know this, next time you're in Londis, walk past the own-brand bourbons, walk past the 'Best-In' bottom shelf four for a pound brown-custard-cream (that even has the adornments of that acceptable blond square of cream filled biscuit) 'long' pack. Walk past them, and walk to the door. Walk out of Londis and walk past our house. Walk past our house all the way to the Spar shop, where they have Bourbon sense. Buy their bourbons.
Vote with your feet Paul.
Vote Crawford's. Vote anything.
Then come back and I will make us all something to dunk them in.
Friday 9 May 2008
Some Things That Have Happened Already Today
1. My brother got the job he's been after at Derby Evening Telegraph. My brother is a fine writer. That makes it sound like he writes 'fines' but it was meant as a gentlemanly complement. (I'm feeling quite gentlemanly today).
My brother's name is Jonny and he got the job the good old way...getting in there under the premise of 'work experience' and then letting rip with his natural journalistic abilities and wowing them all into taking him in and paying him proper.
I am feeling very proud. There is an inflation in my chest. It is nothing medical.
Another thing that has happened already today:
2. Fine Before You Came are an Italian band. They are one of my favourite bands, and have been since I first laid eyes and ears on them years ago at The Victoria Inn. After that day they stayed at my house and their Manchester show was cancelled. So we put on another Derby gig the night after, and we (The Little Explorer) played with them. They really liked us as well, and when they came back we did a tour with them.
Then we went to Italy and played with them there.
I have shared some of my favourite experiences with these guys.
We are the definition of kindred spirits I think.
Anyway, we (The Little Explorer) are calling it a day, and they (Fine Before You Came) are going to travel to England all the way from Milan to play with us.
I am feeling very honoured. There is a smile on my face. It is not being held up by anything.
3. I got my redundancy papers through today. It basically confirmed my earliest suspicions that I'm quite...well not even quite...I'm proper fucked. I have lots of working things out to do for my application for remuneration, and I have a holiday booked for four days after the liquidation of the company starts.
Still, numbers one through two of this post make that pesky number three seem pretty insignificant.
The sky was grey.
Then when I typed that last bit the sun came out.
Some things that haven't happened yet today:
1. Job Centre interview.
2. Meeting with new landlord's agents. They sound nicer than the old ones on the phone at least. Let's hope they understand our seemingly 'different' way of life in our lovely house better than the last ones.
3. Jacket Potato and salad with Jenny.
4. Practicing shuffling cards.
5. Maybe watching 'The Counterfeiters'
My brother's name is Jonny and he got the job the good old way...getting in there under the premise of 'work experience' and then letting rip with his natural journalistic abilities and wowing them all into taking him in and paying him proper.
I am feeling very proud. There is an inflation in my chest. It is nothing medical.
Another thing that has happened already today:
2. Fine Before You Came are an Italian band. They are one of my favourite bands, and have been since I first laid eyes and ears on them years ago at The Victoria Inn. After that day they stayed at my house and their Manchester show was cancelled. So we put on another Derby gig the night after, and we (The Little Explorer) played with them. They really liked us as well, and when they came back we did a tour with them.
Then we went to Italy and played with them there.
I have shared some of my favourite experiences with these guys.
We are the definition of kindred spirits I think.
Anyway, we (The Little Explorer) are calling it a day, and they (Fine Before You Came) are going to travel to England all the way from Milan to play with us.
I am feeling very honoured. There is a smile on my face. It is not being held up by anything.
3. I got my redundancy papers through today. It basically confirmed my earliest suspicions that I'm quite...well not even quite...I'm proper fucked. I have lots of working things out to do for my application for remuneration, and I have a holiday booked for four days after the liquidation of the company starts.
Still, numbers one through two of this post make that pesky number three seem pretty insignificant.
The sky was grey.
Then when I typed that last bit the sun came out.
Some things that haven't happened yet today:
1. Job Centre interview.
2. Meeting with new landlord's agents. They sound nicer than the old ones on the phone at least. Let's hope they understand our seemingly 'different' way of life in our lovely house better than the last ones.
3. Jacket Potato and salad with Jenny.
4. Practicing shuffling cards.
5. Maybe watching 'The Counterfeiters'
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